Out of control

There are times in life where it just seems like no matter what you do you never seem to catch up. I was thinking about the time when I was a teen and how I thought my life was so rough. All of the emotional issues I dealt with and and having to go to school for 6 long periods. Now I look at those times and I want them back. I want to be able to sleep in on the weekends, going out at night with my friends, and having to decide if I want to watch voltron or thundercats. Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. I am now at a point where I just want to slow down enough to watch my little girl grow up, but it seems like life has a way of making things speed up when it's fun and really slow down when it's not so fun. I am happy to know that no matter how bad it seems to get, that God has already seen me through. I can take comfort in knowing that I am his and he will not let me deal with anything that he knows I can't handle. Sometimes it's a crazy ride not knowing which way the next turn is going to take me, I am just glad that I have a wonderful supporting family and a lovely wife as a co-rider on this journey. I like to think that I try hard at everything that I do, but when I think back at some of my failed attempts at some things I've done I realize how foolish I am to think that I am anything without Gods hands to guide me. It is a continuous trait that I hate to admit, but by looking at my past you can see the things that God has a hand in and then how I start to try and take over and it crumbles. Then I go back to God and he does it again, then I grab it to do it myself and I squish it. Like a child that wants so bad to emulate or to create like his daddy but only messes up each time. Lucky for me God has patience with me. I hope that I can break this cycle of trying to take things out of his hand to make them mine and just sit back and allow him to work through me. Maybe, just maybe I can start to enjoy the ride rather than control it. Thank you for your patience Lord for I know that I am a dumb creature that cannot see beyond his nose.